How happy are you?  Is simply asking this question cause for concern about your mental health? No, I do not think so. If you struggle with the answer, is that a red flag? No, I do not think so either but it does say something about how well you know yourself. Self-awareness is a good thing, so taking an internal temperature keeps us honest in how we live our lives and doesn’t mean you should run to the nearest therapist. What is happy anyway? No one defines happiness in the same way. You could be happy with your personal life and hate your work life or vice versa. Happy could mean lots of vacations or having the afternoon alone in your house. Americans are some of the most privileged humans on the face of the earth and yet we struggle with day-to-day life. The word “happiness” enchants us into an illusive search for it. We are bombarded with images of what being “happy” should look like and when we do not fit that image, we become anxious, depressed, or self-loath. “Why can’t I be like all the other parents who seem to have it together?” “How can I get myself to stop being tired and lazy all the time?” “Why can’t I stop eating all this junk food?” “How can I get a better job?” “I want people to take me more seriously and see me as a strong person.” When we can’t find the answers, we turn to influencers, pills, diets, books, herbal teas, types of exercise, and the list goes on. Self-help and health are billion-dollar industries, and we are prime for the spending with our constant search for happiness.

                Everyone could use a pick me up now and then, but an industry built on the continuous misery of people that it is supposed to help, is an indication of fraud. Benefits can be made from living a healthier lifestyle, no one can argue that. What you can argue is profiting millions from an ongoing search for fulfillment and acceptance that only happens within yourself. In my own search of how to live a healthier life, I started to notice just how much “help” is out there. “Help” ranged from medical research to influencers, peer reviewed books on mental health to videos of a guy on his patio, moderate to extreme diets, religion to existential philosophy, and herbal to supplemental therapies. My journey of inquiry began with an herbal tea that popped up in my social media feed. Intrigued by the promise of results, I did further research on it to make sure there were no adverse reactions. The research proved insightful since there were many people who reported side effects that were never alluded to in the post. I began to think about all the influencers peddling “cure all elixirs” and how often they were fed to me through various algorithms. I wondered how many people performed the research I did. My habit of “research before you buy” did not begin with the herbal remedy but my reflection upon the self-help and health industry did.  

                How often do people buy products that could harm them? How many books are being sold that say what we already know but packaged to look new? After these solutions don’t work, we are left feeling even more depressed or hopeless. People do not understand why this product or lifestyle change worked for all these other people bragging about it on social media and not them. In reality, influencers are paid to say something works and may never really try it. Self-help gurus and motivational speakers promise people new ideas and ways to deal with weight or mental health when it’s the same message from stoic philosophers. The algorithm for the search engine or platform you’re using is over saturating your feed with content of the “miracle cure” to boost interaction and sales. There is nothing organic about what you search for on the internet or see in any other form of advertising. People are looking for help in a system built to make money and from an industry that only continues to profit if people are unhappy. It is a hard pill to swallow, but the solution to your misery is within yourself. You may need some help chiseling away all the negativity weighing you down but ultimately you must change. Stop looking to others for solutions and accept that being happy is a subjective 24/7 job. A lifestyle of moving every day in and outdoors, eating a wide variety of food without consuming massive amounts in one sitting, less technology, and more hobbies that get you to create or think in quiet, peace will benefit you more than 3 hours at the gym daily. Life should not be about depriving yourself of what makes life beautiful, living. Find connections with your family and friends. Have a conversation with people, join a kickball team, meet for a book club, or set a night each week for the family to sit together to play a new game. Happiness is not permanent but being content is. To be content does not mean to accept defeat but to starve off the resentment of being unhappy. Once you decide that you are fine with the ups and downs, you find a whole new freedom from trying new diets, meditations, medications, and tireless workouts.